Today my baby is 16 years old. I still remember the first day Ellis arrived. He was this little ball of crazed energy. The caseworker brought him over to the house and he hid under the table and kept peeking out with this mischevious look on his face. He had just met me and he called me mom, which made me really sad because he naturally thought every female he lived with was called 'mom', me being the 6th 'mom' in his previous 6 months.
The first night was rough. Ellis had a hard time settling down and going to sleep. He would wake up screaming and crying every 1/2 hour or so, and when I would go in his room to comfort him, he wouldn't wake up and he would just kick and yell. When he did wake up, he wouldn't let me comfort him. He didn't want to be held at all. You could pick him up and carry him somewhere, but he wouldn't go for any snuggling or affection at all. Eventually we got a routine down but the night terrors remained for 6 months. In fact, they stopped exactly when our family moved to Washington. My theory is that this time when Ellis moved, we came with him.
The first morning after Ellis' first night with us, he was already awake and standing at the end of the bed staring at me with this little smile on his face. I sat up in bed and said "good morning, sweetie!" And he instantly hurled an object at me with all the force he could muster. It was a tin jar of bag balm, and it hit me square in the head. This would define the future! This little, energetic child was not like any child I had ever known.
Ellis' brother was supposed to join our family as well, but taking care of Ellis was such a difficult task, one of which I was ill prepared for, that everyone agreed we needed more time to get a handle on it before bringing home Dean. When 6 months passed and I still didn't have a good handle on it, Brian lost his job in Oregon and applied for a job in Washington, which he got. We were moving out of state and we needed to bring Dean in whether we were ready or not! Poor Dean, barely knowing his new parents, was loaded in the car and on his way to a new state and life!
We quickly settled into our new home. I quickly lost my mind. Ellis proved to be a serious challenge to everything I thought I knew. Something was not right and I did not know what it was! I was totally and completly exasperated. Ellis was up at the crack of dawn every morning and was like this little tasmanian devil. Into anything and everything. I never knew what I would wake up to. He would climb up the cabinets and empty them out. He would pour cereal and milk and food coloring into every bowl we had. He would open up a pack of 500 sheet construction paper and have the entire living room covered in it. I was working evenings, getting up 3 times a night with a baby, and waking up to this. I was alone with the boys all day. Many times I would call Brian, sobbing about something Ellis had done. He thought I was crazy. Ellis was 'fine' for him. His parents thought Ellis just 'had my number'. I knew it was something more. No one believed me.
One day, Ellis walked over to his brother in the bath tub and proceeded to pee on him. That was it! I made up my mind to consider medication for his ADHD, after years of not 'believing' in it. He was only 5!
Well, after years of trials and tribulations and many, many, many instances of my boys challenging my own personal ideals of what a 'normal' family does and does not do, which NEVER worked for us, all of the people around us finally stared to understand that we weren't dealing with your typical child here. It took YEARS, and MANY Doctors and MANY counselors, and teachers...and I admit, several nervous breakdowns to figure out what we were dealing with. We had a child with ADHD, Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. We suffered so many years of heartbreak, and I believe if I had known this in the beginning I would have been so much better prepared and done so many things different. And after seeing all those 'proffesionals' who told me I was dealing with ADHD and he would be just fine, it took a teacher's help and introduction to a book that talked about Attachment Disorder- the first time I had ever heard of it! to lead us to understanding our son.
We've been through so much. Ellis has taught me so much. He has helped me grow more than anyone else ever could have. He has taught me so much about myself. About families. About love and forgiveness. I love him so much. I can't believe he's 16 years old. Though circumstances don't allow him to live at home right now, I think about him always and pray for him. I enjoy my visits with him and I'm glad we can go celebrate his birthday tomorrow. I'm a lucky mom to have a kid that has made me a better person.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Ah, finally!
A movie the whole family enjoyed, with NO blasphemy! Those are few and far between these days! No cussing, no nudity, nothing inappropriate...Mall Cop! I went to see Land of the Lost the other day, and I was really dissapointed. If they would have left out the inappropriate parts, it wouldn't have LOST anything! It would have taken so little to make it a family-friendly movie, but I guess that doesn't sell tickets!
Have you seen any good movies lately?
Have you seen any good movies lately?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It could be worse....
So, I'm totally convinced both of my boys are Bi-Polar. Without a doubt, Dean is- they don't diagnose children with bi-polar because all the signs and symptoms are based on adult symptoms and they really don't have any sure-fire diagnoses for children...so they label it a 'mood disorder' until they become an adult, and then they are willing to provide the label of bi-polar. Dean went through exstensive testing over a year ago and was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Ya think?! Lately, his explosive behavior has encouraged me to read more about bi-polar in children and the accuracy of the symptoms and behaviors amaze me! He goes ballistic over everything! His complete unpredictibility makes life very challenging. I got to thinking, Ellis probably needs to be re-evaluated as well. The House is getting nowhere with him. (We call the group home he lives in the 'House'.) He has been regressing for a long time now. He's only on medication to help his ADHD and nothing else. Of course they aren't getting anywhere with him! And this stuff runs in families.
On a lighter note....I'm doing so well on Atkins this time around. I'm trying to follow it the way I did the first time...when I was actually successful! I realized that the reason for my repeated failed attempts over the last 5 years is because I let myself cheat, which Dr. Atkins has maintained is 'the kiss of death' for this way of eating. It's true! I cannot cheat, not even a bite or I WILL fail. Failure is not an option!!! Now, if I could just muster up enough energy to start excersizing! I suffer from 'The Atkins Flu', which is a result of your body de-toxing, and also the symptoms of your body switching from 'glucose burning' to 'fat burning'. I tend to feel those symptoms for quite some time, especially in my legs, which makes them feel like I can barely get them moving. Excersize is not an appealing thought ever, but especially in the beginning, so hopefully it will pass soon and I can get my rear in gear! Brian has begun Atkins again too! He has amazing will power when he does it, and good discipline when it comes to excersizing. 3 pounds down.....
On a lighter note....I'm doing so well on Atkins this time around. I'm trying to follow it the way I did the first time...when I was actually successful! I realized that the reason for my repeated failed attempts over the last 5 years is because I let myself cheat, which Dr. Atkins has maintained is 'the kiss of death' for this way of eating. It's true! I cannot cheat, not even a bite or I WILL fail. Failure is not an option!!! Now, if I could just muster up enough energy to start excersizing! I suffer from 'The Atkins Flu', which is a result of your body de-toxing, and also the symptoms of your body switching from 'glucose burning' to 'fat burning'. I tend to feel those symptoms for quite some time, especially in my legs, which makes them feel like I can barely get them moving. Excersize is not an appealing thought ever, but especially in the beginning, so hopefully it will pass soon and I can get my rear in gear! Brian has begun Atkins again too! He has amazing will power when he does it, and good discipline when it comes to excersizing. 3 pounds down.....
Saturday, June 6, 2009
$46 and 30 Minutes
Yesterday we had Callie's birthday party. We met at the Surf N' Slide Water Park and the party was supposed to be from 5-8. We would swim for 2 1/2 hours and then go to the park and have cake until 8. Six of Callie's friends came and everyone disappeared into the pool. I have managed to avoid the Aquatic Center for a really long time, which has everything to do with 1) my aversion to large crowds of people and 2) my pasty-white legs and unwillingness to get into anything that remotely resembles a bathing suit. So, it has been several years since I've been there. I was wondering if Blisa would get into the water. I put her in a pool when she was a baby, and haven't been able to get her in one since. Any hotel with a pool we have been to, she refuses to get in. So I was delighted that she was having a wonderful time! She acted like it was her first time...then I got to thinking, it pretty much was! Other than her one infant experience in a hotel pool, she hasn't been to one! I don't think I have ever taken her to the aquatic center and she's 6 years old! She absolutely loved it! She was going down the slides and all over the place. I couldn't keep up with her.
Dean was late, but he got there about 5:45. Olivia, our neighbor, came and voiced her concerns about storm clouds above. I reassured her that it was not going to rain. She was worried about being in the pool with lightening. I told her that a storm wasn't in the forecast, and if it did start to strike, they would make everyone get out of the pool. No sooner had the sentence left my mouth when they announced the pool was now closed and everyone must leave at once. We got in just over 1/2 an our of swimming and Dean got 10 whole minutes of swimming- with no refunds, might I add! You tell me- is 30 minutes of swimming worth $46?!
While we were standing in the lobby waiting for half our party to get out of the showers, the manager (I'm assuming, because she acted like she was in charge), very rudely announced to all of us still in the lobby "PLEASE exit our building NOW!" What? You are kidding, right? We just paid you $46 for 30 minutes of swimming and now you are being RUDE? And the last time I checked, the tax payers own that building, not YOU! I've got issues with bad customer service!
We all shuffled out of cranky pool and headed to the Big Toy, while I wondered how to kill 2 full hours! The cake wasn't even there yet because Brian was bringing it at 7:15 and he wasn't answering his phone. Everyone was hungry and thirsty....so I decided to order Papa John's Pizza and some pop. I told the order taker "Can you please bring us cups because we are at the park and we can't drink the pop without them." He assured me he would bring cups. Again I reminded him, "Please don't forget the cups!" They brought the pizza 30 minutes later and 2-liter of Coke...and no cups. I said, "Please tell me you brought the cups." "It wasn't on the ticket," he says. Hmmm...I'm thinking if I was delivering 2 pizzas and a 2 liter to a birthday party in the park, I would not expect them to pass it around and each take a swig, but that's just me. Brian showed up with the cake and I hoped in the van and drove 3 blocks to the baby store and brought cups back with me. Everyone was greatful for food, we at the cake, and the kids played until their parents came.
Dean was way too obnoxious and loud and rude and innapropriate, as he seems to not have any awareness of other people at all....but we do have to let him out of his cage on occasion so we have to deal with it. :) Then it was over. Yeah! Tonight we are having a BBQ at Grandma's house so Callie get's 2 birthday parties. Happy 11th birthday, Callie Rosaline Jackson Brown Stink-pot Pooka Turkey-baster Bottom Preston!
Dean was late, but he got there about 5:45. Olivia, our neighbor, came and voiced her concerns about storm clouds above. I reassured her that it was not going to rain. She was worried about being in the pool with lightening. I told her that a storm wasn't in the forecast, and if it did start to strike, they would make everyone get out of the pool. No sooner had the sentence left my mouth when they announced the pool was now closed and everyone must leave at once. We got in just over 1/2 an our of swimming and Dean got 10 whole minutes of swimming- with no refunds, might I add! You tell me- is 30 minutes of swimming worth $46?!
While we were standing in the lobby waiting for half our party to get out of the showers, the manager (I'm assuming, because she acted like she was in charge), very rudely announced to all of us still in the lobby "PLEASE exit our building NOW!" What? You are kidding, right? We just paid you $46 for 30 minutes of swimming and now you are being RUDE? And the last time I checked, the tax payers own that building, not YOU! I've got issues with bad customer service!
We all shuffled out of cranky pool and headed to the Big Toy, while I wondered how to kill 2 full hours! The cake wasn't even there yet because Brian was bringing it at 7:15 and he wasn't answering his phone. Everyone was hungry and thirsty....so I decided to order Papa John's Pizza and some pop. I told the order taker "Can you please bring us cups because we are at the park and we can't drink the pop without them." He assured me he would bring cups. Again I reminded him, "Please don't forget the cups!" They brought the pizza 30 minutes later and 2-liter of Coke...and no cups. I said, "Please tell me you brought the cups." "It wasn't on the ticket," he says. Hmmm...I'm thinking if I was delivering 2 pizzas and a 2 liter to a birthday party in the park, I would not expect them to pass it around and each take a swig, but that's just me. Brian showed up with the cake and I hoped in the van and drove 3 blocks to the baby store and brought cups back with me. Everyone was greatful for food, we at the cake, and the kids played until their parents came.
Dean was way too obnoxious and loud and rude and innapropriate, as he seems to not have any awareness of other people at all....but we do have to let him out of his cage on occasion so we have to deal with it. :) Then it was over. Yeah! Tonight we are having a BBQ at Grandma's house so Callie get's 2 birthday parties. Happy 11th birthday, Callie Rosaline Jackson Brown Stink-pot Pooka Turkey-baster Bottom Preston!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Party Pooper!
Yes, I am a party pooper. When I was growing up, me and my siblings had an occasional birthday party where we were allowed to invite other people, but it was always at our house and pretty much just involved cake and icecream. It didn't involve spending lots of money to invite lots of people to do something. I firmly believe this is the way Birthday's should be. So how on earth do I get pulled into doing something I totally resent, like staying up until midnight making a cake and letting my soon-to-be 11 year old invite 8 people to the Aquatic Center this afternoon? I give in to her desires and then I'm angry about it the whole time!
I went to the store to get cake stuff, when I usually end up buying one these days because our schedules are too busy to consider baking. However, I cannot bring myself to pay $18 for a cake when I can make one for a fraction of that. Spending nearly $100 on swimming helped me with that decision! After my trip to the store and mixing all the ingredients, I realized I threw away the crisco last week because it went rancid from lack of use, so I was incredibly cranky on my second trip to the store, with a shirt covered in cake splatters and lines that went on forever! Callie called me on the way there and I just went off about birthdays and how they will be celebrated from now on and how we don't have money to take all these people out to do something...blah blah blah...and then she started crying! Of course I felt terrible!
This is the new rule! Birthdays will be celebrated at our house, with our family and if you want to have friends come over that's fine too. But we won't be going on Limo rides and then have a bowling party, and we won't be sending everyone to the aquatic center either! So take it or leave it!
I went to the store to get cake stuff, when I usually end up buying one these days because our schedules are too busy to consider baking. However, I cannot bring myself to pay $18 for a cake when I can make one for a fraction of that. Spending nearly $100 on swimming helped me with that decision! After my trip to the store and mixing all the ingredients, I realized I threw away the crisco last week because it went rancid from lack of use, so I was incredibly cranky on my second trip to the store, with a shirt covered in cake splatters and lines that went on forever! Callie called me on the way there and I just went off about birthdays and how they will be celebrated from now on and how we don't have money to take all these people out to do something...blah blah blah...and then she started crying! Of course I felt terrible!
This is the new rule! Birthdays will be celebrated at our house, with our family and if you want to have friends come over that's fine too. But we won't be going on Limo rides and then have a bowling party, and we won't be sending everyone to the aquatic center either! So take it or leave it!
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