Odyssey Into Frugality

It's gaining popularity- from saving a little here and there to extreme cases- and being frugal is the smart thing to do. The economy is bad, and despite what our leaders tell us, things aren't getting better. I believe the worst is yet to come. The typical American Family, mine included, is feeling the effects of our way of life. Spending more than you have, having it now and paying for it later...no savings to speak of. And it hurts. I'll be brutally honest. Brian and I have spent the bulk of our lives together getting into debt. Back then, credit cards were so easy to get- they were giving them away! We'd promise ourselves we'd pay it off right away. Then the balance keeps getting bigger and eventually we'd find ourselves just paying the minimum due every month. I was never taught anything about money management, but I won't use that as an excuse. I'm a big girl now and I'm sickened by the result of years of poor choices and avoidance. Sooo....come along with me on my latest and greatest adventure...my family's odyssey into frugality! It all starts today with the magic jars!!!!!

Who is this person?

Over Labor Day Weekend I attended my 20 Year High School Reunion, and I also got to spend some very enjoyable time with my family. The home I grew up in burnt down a few years ago and my mom came across a box filled with my old letters and diaries. I picked them up this trip and read the three diaries in the box. These particular volumes started on my 16th birthday until I was about 20 years old. I have shared excerpts from diaries I kept before that, much to everyone's entertainment. But these diaries weren't quite so funny. Certainly there were a few pages that were pretty entertaining, but for the most part, I discovered a young girl that I had almost forgotten about. I was so surprised at how much anger and rage and hatred was bubbling inside of me, just under the surface. Where my diaries from 13 and 14 expressed more pain and hurt, I could easily see how that turned into something darker. I was very shocked at the emotions dripping off every page. When I read those diaries, I see this young girl with no direction, feeling utterly unloved and alone, who turned the pain into hate. I see clearly how lost I was. I was searching for what would fill the void and coming up empty at every turn. I was surprised as well at the horrible choices that I made, that time and time again only served to hurt me all the more. I praise God that He pulled me out of the mire and the muck and set my feet upon a rock! I spent years searching for what was in front of me the whole time! Thank you God for opening my eyes and saving me, yes even me!

No Spring Chicken

That would be me. I'm 39 years old, and I feel unhealthy. I have become very sedentary over the last couple of years. I have suffered for years from chronic daily headaches and recently, I have built up a resistance to the only thing that has ever worked for them-Excedrin. I have to take more and more of them and take them as soon as I wake up, which of course cause rebound headaches, fueling the cycle even more. Recently I started having symptoms of an ulcer. No surprise, since I have been taking Excedrin on an empty stomache for a long time. Thanks to my cousin, I also found out some family health history that I didn't know before. Almost everyone on my Dad's side of the family is diabetic!

I decided now was the time to get on some kind of prescription for the headaches so that I could break my caffeine addiction with the Excedrin. I made an appointment for a complete physical. My idea of a complete physical was quite different than what I got! He looked in my nose, throat and ears. Took blood pressure, asked me questions only about my headaches, and took some blood. That about wrapped it up. I did find out I was anemic, which I already knew, but that did explain some of the weird symptoms I have been having that I didn't even know were from an iron deficiency (no thanks to the doctor-I did some internet searching)!

I have also been suspicious over the last year or so that I was pre-diabetic. Probably because my on again, off again relationship with Dr. Atkins, I suspected that with the weight gain and lack of exercise, I was setting myself up for it! The blood test confirmed this! Aaah! It's true! I am heading down the road to Diabetes!!! This cannot happen!

I went back on Atkins. I intend to stay there. I have more motivation to do so now. I plan to exercise every day too, as soon as I get my iron back up to a good level. I haven't been able to even think about doing it, with as wiped out I am every day.

This is a good thing. Finally the kick in the pants to get my fat buttocks in gear!

My baby boy

Today my baby is 16 years old. I still remember the first day Ellis arrived. He was this little ball of crazed energy. The caseworker brought him over to the house and he hid under the table and kept peeking out with this mischevious look on his face. He had just met me and he called me mom, which made me really sad because he naturally thought every female he lived with was called 'mom', me being the 6th 'mom' in his previous 6 months.

The first night was rough. Ellis had a hard time settling down and going to sleep. He would wake up screaming and crying every 1/2 hour or so, and when I would go in his room to comfort him, he wouldn't wake up and he would just kick and yell. When he did wake up, he wouldn't let me comfort him. He didn't want to be held at all. You could pick him up and carry him somewhere, but he wouldn't go for any snuggling or affection at all. Eventually we got a routine down but the night terrors remained for 6 months. In fact, they stopped exactly when our family moved to Washington. My theory is that this time when Ellis moved, we came with him.

The first morning after Ellis' first night with us, he was already awake and standing at the end of the bed staring at me with this little smile on his face. I sat up in bed and said "good morning, sweetie!" And he instantly hurled an object at me with all the force he could muster. It was a tin jar of bag balm, and it hit me square in the head. This would define the future! This little, energetic child was not like any child I had ever known.

Ellis' brother was supposed to join our family as well, but taking care of Ellis was such a difficult task, one of which I was ill prepared for, that everyone agreed we needed more time to get a handle on it before bringing home Dean. When 6 months passed and I still didn't have a good handle on it, Brian lost his job in Oregon and applied for a job in Washington, which he got. We were moving out of state and we needed to bring Dean in whether we were ready or not! Poor Dean, barely knowing his new parents, was loaded in the car and on his way to a new state and life!

We quickly settled into our new home. I quickly lost my mind. Ellis proved to be a serious challenge to everything I thought I knew. Something was not right and I did not know what it was! I was totally and completly exasperated. Ellis was up at the crack of dawn every morning and was like this little tasmanian devil. Into anything and everything. I never knew what I would wake up to. He would climb up the cabinets and empty them out. He would pour cereal and milk and food coloring into every bowl we had. He would open up a pack of 500 sheet construction paper and have the entire living room covered in it. I was working evenings, getting up 3 times a night with a baby, and waking up to this. I was alone with the boys all day. Many times I would call Brian, sobbing about something Ellis had done. He thought I was crazy. Ellis was 'fine' for him. His parents thought Ellis just 'had my number'. I knew it was something more. No one believed me.

One day, Ellis walked over to his brother in the bath tub and proceeded to pee on him. That was it! I made up my mind to consider medication for his ADHD, after years of not 'believing' in it. He was only 5!

Well, after years of trials and tribulations and many, many, many instances of my boys challenging my own personal ideals of what a 'normal' family does and does not do, which NEVER worked for us, all of the people around us finally stared to understand that we weren't dealing with your typical child here. It took YEARS, and MANY Doctors and MANY counselors, and teachers...and I admit, several nervous breakdowns to figure out what we were dealing with. We had a child with ADHD, Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. We suffered so many years of heartbreak, and I believe if I had known this in the beginning I would have been so much better prepared and done so many things different. And after seeing all those 'proffesionals' who told me I was dealing with ADHD and he would be just fine, it took a teacher's help and introduction to a book that talked about Attachment Disorder- the first time I had ever heard of it! to lead us to understanding our son.

We've been through so much. Ellis has taught me so much. He has helped me grow more than anyone else ever could have. He has taught me so much about myself. About families. About love and forgiveness. I love him so much. I can't believe he's 16 years old. Though circumstances don't allow him to live at home right now, I think about him always and pray for him. I enjoy my visits with him and I'm glad we can go celebrate his birthday tomorrow. I'm a lucky mom to have a kid that has made me a better person.

Ah, finally!

A movie the whole family enjoyed, with NO blasphemy! Those are few and far between these days! No cussing, no nudity, nothing inappropriate...Mall Cop! I went to see Land of the Lost the other day, and I was really dissapointed. If they would have left out the inappropriate parts, it wouldn't have LOST anything! It would have taken so little to make it a family-friendly movie, but I guess that doesn't sell tickets!

Have you seen any good movies lately?

It could be worse....

So, I'm totally convinced both of my boys are Bi-Polar. Without a doubt, Dean is- they don't diagnose children with bi-polar because all the signs and symptoms are based on adult symptoms and they really don't have any sure-fire diagnoses for children...so they label it a 'mood disorder' until they become an adult, and then they are willing to provide the label of bi-polar. Dean went through exstensive testing over a year ago and was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Ya think?! Lately, his explosive behavior has encouraged me to read more about bi-polar in children and the accuracy of the symptoms and behaviors amaze me! He goes ballistic over everything! His complete unpredictibility makes life very challenging. I got to thinking, Ellis probably needs to be re-evaluated as well. The House is getting nowhere with him. (We call the group home he lives in the 'House'.) He has been regressing for a long time now. He's only on medication to help his ADHD and nothing else. Of course they aren't getting anywhere with him! And this stuff runs in families.

On a lighter note....I'm doing so well on Atkins this time around. I'm trying to follow it the way I did the first time...when I was actually successful! I realized that the reason for my repeated failed attempts over the last 5 years is because I let myself cheat, which Dr. Atkins has maintained is 'the kiss of death' for this way of eating. It's true! I cannot cheat, not even a bite or I WILL fail. Failure is not an option!!! Now, if I could just muster up enough energy to start excersizing! I suffer from 'The Atkins Flu', which is a result of your body de-toxing, and also the symptoms of your body switching from 'glucose burning' to 'fat burning'. I tend to feel those symptoms for quite some time, especially in my legs, which makes them feel like I can barely get them moving. Excersize is not an appealing thought ever, but especially in the beginning, so hopefully it will pass soon and I can get my rear in gear! Brian has begun Atkins again too! He has amazing will power when he does it, and good discipline when it comes to excersizing. 3 pounds down.....

$46 and 30 Minutes

Yesterday we had Callie's birthday party. We met at the Surf N' Slide Water Park and the party was supposed to be from 5-8. We would swim for 2 1/2 hours and then go to the park and have cake until 8. Six of Callie's friends came and everyone disappeared into the pool. I have managed to avoid the Aquatic Center for a really long time, which has everything to do with 1) my aversion to large crowds of people and 2) my pasty-white legs and unwillingness to get into anything that remotely resembles a bathing suit. So, it has been several years since I've been there. I was wondering if Blisa would get into the water. I put her in a pool when she was a baby, and haven't been able to get her in one since. Any hotel with a pool we have been to, she refuses to get in. So I was delighted that she was having a wonderful time! She acted like it was her first time...then I got to thinking, it pretty much was! Other than her one infant experience in a hotel pool, she hasn't been to one! I don't think I have ever taken her to the aquatic center and she's 6 years old! She absolutely loved it! She was going down the slides and all over the place. I couldn't keep up with her.

Dean was late, but he got there about 5:45. Olivia, our neighbor, came and voiced her concerns about storm clouds above. I reassured her that it was not going to rain. She was worried about being in the pool with lightening. I told her that a storm wasn't in the forecast, and if it did start to strike, they would make everyone get out of the pool. No sooner had the sentence left my mouth when they announced the pool was now closed and everyone must leave at once. We got in just over 1/2 an our of swimming and Dean got 10 whole minutes of swimming- with no refunds, might I add! You tell me- is 30 minutes of swimming worth $46?!

While we were standing in the lobby waiting for half our party to get out of the showers, the manager (I'm assuming, because she acted like she was in charge), very rudely announced to all of us still in the lobby "PLEASE exit our building NOW!" What? You are kidding, right? We just paid you $46 for 30 minutes of swimming and now you are being RUDE? And the last time I checked, the tax payers own that building, not YOU! I've got issues with bad customer service!

We all shuffled out of cranky pool and headed to the Big Toy, while I wondered how to kill 2 full hours! The cake wasn't even there yet because Brian was bringing it at 7:15 and he wasn't answering his phone. Everyone was hungry and thirsty....so I decided to order Papa John's Pizza and some pop. I told the order taker "Can you please bring us cups because we are at the park and we can't drink the pop without them." He assured me he would bring cups. Again I reminded him, "Please don't forget the cups!" They brought the pizza 30 minutes later and 2-liter of Coke...and no cups. I said, "Please tell me you brought the cups." "It wasn't on the ticket," he says. Hmmm...I'm thinking if I was delivering 2 pizzas and a 2 liter to a birthday party in the park, I would not expect them to pass it around and each take a swig, but that's just me. Brian showed up with the cake and I hoped in the van and drove 3 blocks to the baby store and brought cups back with me. Everyone was greatful for food, we at the cake, and the kids played until their parents came.

Dean was way too obnoxious and loud and rude and innapropriate, as he seems to not have any awareness of other people at all....but we do have to let him out of his cage on occasion so we have to deal with it. :) Then it was over. Yeah! Tonight we are having a BBQ at Grandma's house so Callie get's 2 birthday parties. Happy 11th birthday, Callie Rosaline Jackson Brown Stink-pot Pooka Turkey-baster Bottom Preston!

Party Pooper!

Yes, I am a party pooper. When I was growing up, me and my siblings had an occasional birthday party where we were allowed to invite other people, but it was always at our house and pretty much just involved cake and icecream. It didn't involve spending lots of money to invite lots of people to do something. I firmly believe this is the way Birthday's should be. So how on earth do I get pulled into doing something I totally resent, like staying up until midnight making a cake and letting my soon-to-be 11 year old invite 8 people to the Aquatic Center this afternoon? I give in to her desires and then I'm angry about it the whole time!

I went to the store to get cake stuff, when I usually end up buying one these days because our schedules are too busy to consider baking. However, I cannot bring myself to pay $18 for a cake when I can make one for a fraction of that. Spending nearly $100 on swimming helped me with that decision! After my trip to the store and mixing all the ingredients, I realized I threw away the crisco last week because it went rancid from lack of use, so I was incredibly cranky on my second trip to the store, with a shirt covered in cake splatters and lines that went on forever! Callie called me on the way there and I just went off about birthdays and how they will be celebrated from now on and how we don't have money to take all these people out to do something...blah blah blah...and then she started crying! Of course I felt terrible!

This is the new rule! Birthdays will be celebrated at our house, with our family and if you want to have friends come over that's fine too. But we won't be going on Limo rides and then have a bowling party, and we won't be sending everyone to the aquatic center either! So take it or leave it!

I can't take this adventure alone!

Where I want to go is on a journey to frugality. My fantasy is that my family learn to live simply and frugally...that we challenge ourselves with saving money in every way possible, making an adventure out of it! No one is interested in this journey besides myself, however...and I just can't do it alone! I am always stressed out about money and my way of dealing with it is NOT dealing with it. I am an avoider. I get a panic attack when I check my online banking. I try hard to forget about it. I'm tired, tired, TIRED of living on the edge...always being a day late and a dollar short. People DO this! People live frugally and ENJOY it and I want someone to be on board with me. But no one is interested in working for it. And by no one, I mean my spouse, because if we are both doing it the kids don't have a choice!

I got cable out of this house once and I was grateful for that, but lo and behold it found it's way back in and Brian has dug in his heels and won't give it up. For goodness sakes, t.v. has done us no favors. It steals our time, our creativity and our lives!

We can save electricity! Keep the radio off 24/7! Keep the scanners off when no one is home, and for Heaven's sake, keep the stupid airconditioner off unless it's greater than 95 degrees! Summer time money saving tip: Keep the windows open at night and in the morning close them up and close the blinds and it stays remarkably cool all day! If my husband could control his overwhelming compulsion to keep all the windows and doors open all day long, we might get somewhere!

I want to go to the store once a week and plan all the meals and don't make in-between trips to the store; currently that's one of our biggest money suckers! Shopping meal to meal!

Something has got to give and I would prefer to be proactive rather than reactive. Somebody help me!!

A Rosa by any other name.....

We were in the car the other day and I was explaining to Callie about what 'The DaVinci Code' was about, in all it's ridiculousness. I told her the author was propagating the lie and blasphemy that Jesus had children with Mary Magdalene. Callie said, "That's stupid! Jesus wasn't even around when Mary Magdalene sat on the bus!"

I said, "Um...are you thinking of Rosa Parks? They pretty much didn't have buses in Jesus' day!"

Praying for pigeons

It was a silly prayer, I admit. Praying for a pigeon. For some strange reason, pigeons who are on their death bed seem drawn to the baby store. They sit in front of the door and stare in. Today Mr. Pigeon was hanging out at the front door looking at us. I came close and he just stayed there. I opened the door and still he stayed there. Blisa came over to try and visit with him. He was too scared for that so he hobbled off around the building. Then he came to the side door and just sat there, blocking the entrance for the FedEx delivery. He finally found a wind block by hoping up the stairs to Julie's front door. I left him a couple of french fries, but he wouldn't touch them. I think this is typical behavior for a pigeon who is dying? The last pigeon did the same thing, only I thought perhaps I could nurse him back to health. I brought him and and put him in a box with a towel and tried to feed him and give him water, but nothing worked. He died. I always make an attempt at saving a life and I always fail. I prayed that God would show this creature compassion and make the end of his life painless, filled with happy birdy thoughts. Silly, I know.

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth!

I love spending money just to hear the person I'm paying tell me there is nothing they can do! Blisa had 3 fake teeth put in a few years ago. (too many suckers!) They had to put her to sleep and put in 3 fake front teeth. We opted for the metal with white porcelain coating. They have held up well..until now. A few days ago the porcelain chipped in two spots, and soon the entire coating fell off one of her teeth, exposing a very unattractive grayish tooth! I made an appointment with Office Anesthesia & Dentistry to look at her tooth to see if we could re-coat it. Since we no longer have dental insurance, I had to pay $89 just to have her looked at. The dentist came in, looked at it, and said "The tooth is intact and functioning and we cannot justify putting her under to replace it. It's fired on porcelain so you can't re-coat it. We'll just have to wait for it to fall out on it's own." It took about 30 seconds for this appointment!

So, the time table for this particular tooth to fall out is between age 7-9. So we have to potentially wait for 3 years! It looks likes she walked out of a trailor park...no offense to trailer park children with metal teeth! It's not even metal-looking...it's a dull gray, so it basically looks like she has a rotten tooth. It doesn't bother her, but here I am worried about what people will think when she smiles! Am I really that vain? Yes...I am. :(

The house, the house...always the house!

I stayed up way too late last night. Callie and I didn't go to bed until around 1:30, which pretty much ruins the next day for me. I'm an evil monster if I don't get quality sleep before midnight. Even sleeping in the next morning doesn't usually help things. I would have stayed in bed longer, but while lying there contemplating falling back into a deeper sleep, I suddenly remembered that last night after removing the chicken enchiladas from the oven, I put in a large pan of asparagus drizzled with garlic butter. I forgot all about it! I was worried about the condition of those green buggars after cooking at 350 degrees the entire night! I hoped up and took a peak in the oven and discovered that Brian must have turned off the oven just after I put them in, thinking that I had left the oven on after dinner. Well, that's better than burning them to a crisp, but either way they were ruined.

I decided I would attempt to remove the popcorn ceiling in the girls room. I looked it up on the internet and to my dismay, found out that it's imperative that you have the popcorn paint tested for asbestos before removing! UGH! Considering the age of this home, I didn't want to mess with the possibility of removing it and giving everyone cancer in the process, so I left a message with some people that test the paint and hope to get an estimate in the morning. I can do 50 bucks. I don't want to spend $100. I hope it's cheap! My mother-in-law will not be pleased that I made absolutely no progress on that room. It's just a lot more complicated then what she thinks! So much work to do in one tiny room! Helen doesn't want me to remove the popcorn, but I'm insisting! Every room in this house needs serious attention. We haven't improved anything in this house and everything is falling apart or is in major disrepair. For once I want to do a room really well and not take shortcuts! So the popcorn must go! The carpets must be ripped out and we have to put in wood floors. The paneling on 2/3rds of the wall needs sanded, primed and painted. Two windows need completly removed and replaced with new windows. One wall needs the wall paper removed and painted. We have to rip out a sink and cabinets, build a closet....
When will we find the time? Baby steps, I guess.

We did get some other hotspots in the house cleaned so that was a big improvement. Tomorrow starts a new work week. Tuesday I'm going to try to clean Adrienne's house- she says 4 hours work and she'll pay me $100. I hope it's not too horrible in there!

Blowing off steam

"Examine yourself whether you are in the faith; prove yourselves" says Corinthians 13:5. Instructions we all must heed, myself included. Let me ask you this. Do you 'change' who you are depending on who you are around? Do you claim the name of Christ, yet do sinful, abominable things? Or do you adopt one personality around one person, to appear worldy and to fit in, and with others you are 'good, honest and pure?' Do not fool yourself! You are under God's wrath. He sees every secret sin..He searches your heart and searches your mind and nothing is hidden from Him. Just because you don't consciously acknowledge your own wickedness does not mean it doesn't exsist! How idiotic of you to believe that your Heavenly Father, who knows how many hairs are on your very head, would overlook such sin in your life. Do not delude yourself into thinking that as a believer your sins will be forgiven if you only ask! No, my friend! Forgiveness of sin requires repentance- turning away from your sins- don't keep doing them! If you keep repeating the same sins- whether it's the physical sin itself or lying about that sin- you are unrepentant and woe to you if your life ended in this state!

What things do you let escape from your mouth? "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8
Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say brings light into the world or more darkness? Do you think it is your duty to tell every person anything you may have heard about them? Opinions that others have of them? Are you considering your audience? Are they adults? Are you having 'adult conversations' with people that are not mature enough to use discernment? And if so, examine your own maturity.

My advice is simple. Choose this day whom you will serve. You cannot walk the fence. It's God or it is the world. You cannot have them both. "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust thereof: but he that does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17